Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 153

Contest No. 153 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the "Captcha" box. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, November 12, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


But I thought 'See you in Hell' was just an expression!

"I'm pretty thirsty."

"I'm pretty sure she is, but is my ex-wife here?"

"I'm allergic to smoke."

"I already went through this with my ex-wife."

"Convicted? No, never convicted."

I was told I'd have air conditioned quarters. True?

Will I also get a long fork to roast marshmallows?

"I have a question . . . all these people in hell, where do they tell people to go????"

"I thought the long red tie was optional!"

Do you have any marshmallows?

My lawyer filed an appeal.

I'd like a table for one and some ice water as soon as possible please.

I thought I signed up for a nudist colony

I must have made a wrong turn, I was heading for Fire Island.

Just my luck,I got fired from my job today too.

Do you have any spots in the Deviled Ham Spread division?

Yes, I did kill him, but he deserved it. He put the toilet paper roll on backwards.

So let me get this straight. I receive a free Dirt Devil if I get 3 of my friends to join.

No, I didn't make a reservation.

You should really think about cutting your carbon emissions.

"I've had a reservation since 1989."

I don't do good with the inflicting of eternal pain. Can I be moved to the "call centre" division?

I decided to join when I saw your television ad stating it just took 4 easy instalment payments of my soul.

I'm kinda embarrassed, but I'd like to hide from my wife. I know she's here because she always said "I'll see you in hell!".

Hello! My name is Mr Smith, and I'm from Murphy's Insurance. May I speak to your father?

I'm going to need a tour before I commit.

You've got a little something in your beard.

There’s no room in the ex-lawyers wing? What about the ex-politicians wing?

"I'd like a seat in the'No Smoking' section."

"But I was just slightly bad. Can't you just send me to 'Heck?'"

"There's a mistake. I'm a shoes salesman and I only sold my sole."

"My friend told me this is a nudist colony, but where are the hot chicks?"

"Did you have to send me here just when I finally gave up smoking?"

"I beg you...please play something besides '1 877 Kars 4 Kids!'"

"Excuse me, it looks like a left more than my hat in Hades."

"Any chance of getting a steak today not well done,"

"Well, that's one good thing...There's no law against yelling 'fire' in a theatre, here."

"I've been waiting three years, six months, and ten weeks for a table. You'ld think you would at least serve some complimentary Hors d'oeuvres!"

"You refuse to serve me without clothes. I'm sure I'll be able to fo find a lawyer up here to sue you.!"

"My suit will be ready on Friday? That's what you said five years ago."

"Whatever happened to service with a smile?"

"Your showers still don't have cold water."

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