Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 144

Contest No. 144 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, March 5, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


I'm sorry, this part calls for Queen Victoria.

The show we are casting for is called Queen for a Day.

Your credentials are impressive. Can you start immediately on the knight shift?

Yes, you have off for May Day.

I don’t care what the rhyme says. Get your horses and your men and put it together again!

Well, back in the middle ages they might have done things that way!

No, I don’t have jobs for all the Knights of the Round Table.

This isn't the Renaissance, you know.

So let the peasants revolt!

"I'm looking for someone willing to work their way up from the bottom."

No, we do not discriminate against transroyal persons in our hiring process.

"I'm afraid you misunderstand. When we say, we are seeking
Royal applicants ... we are talking TOILET TISSUE ADS!"

"I'm not disputing your ROYAL qualifications ... but,
BURGER KING is a restaurant!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but the current king already has an heir."

"De-throned ... AFTER DIVORCING the Queen, for a twenty-year old
Royal groupie? YES ... you are, REALITY STAR material!"

"You would have made an excellent spokes-person for
MAJESTIC TOURS, but ... I'm afraid Queen Latifah
beat you to the punch!"


"Ahhh ... the "Back-up Singing Position" for PRINCE!"

"Yes, your years of experience in the COUNTING HOUSE, should
count for something, your Majesty... but, I'm afraid, the
banks are all going digital!"

"Chicken King just doesn't have the same ring to it."

"No, beheading is not part of our disciplinary process."

"Hmmm, we make meat patties and you're royalty. Our new name is on the tip of my tongue."

"This isn't what corporate had in mind for dress down Fridays."

"We think the promotion may have went to your head."

"We're sorry but you can't insist on being called 'my liege'."

"We get you think you deserved the promotion, Bob, but enough is enough."

"No, I said what 'degree's' do you have, not 'decree's!"

"What did you have in mind for a promotion"?

"I'm afraid we won't be able to meet your demands!"

"Have you tried appling at Burger King"?

"No Art, we're a small shop, we don't offer any round tables!"

"It's come to my attention that you don't work well with others!"

"I don't see diplomacy as your strong suit!"

I'm sorry . . when we said 'fit for a king', it was just a figure of speech.

I'm sorry, daily banquets are out of the question . . . you'll have to budget your expenses like everyone else.

We don't have any openings for "King For a Day".

"MOONLIGHTING ... I wasn't aware that the Queen

“The divine right of kings does not extend to executive washroom keys.”

"I'm afraid there was a typo in the job posting. It should have read 'Loyalty is important to us'."

Have you tried applying at Burger King?

Sorry, but I don't think you are the right fit here at Dairy Queen.

Do you have any other qualifications other than "My dad was King"?

"Sorry, we can't pay you in gold coins, just direct deposit."

I think I can get you a janitor position at Medieval Times.

Do you know how to use a plunger?

That's a snazzy coat you have. Would you like to work in clothing retail?

"Well, yes ... the job description did state,
fit for a king!"

"So, the Queen doesn't want you underfoot all day,
when you pass down your title?"

"For qualifications ... I see waving and giving orders.
Sorry, but that job is already filled ... by my wife!"

"Now, regarding the Jeweller position ... you say,
you have the MIDAS TOUCH?"


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