Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 135

Contest No. 135 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, June 26, 2018.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. 


"You were right, mom. I should have become an accountant."

Oh! It was a record and sure to be in all the papers. Especially when I landed in Rudolfo's lion taming act.

"Yeah, maw, I remembered not to use the flammable hair gel!"

"The crowd loved me, Doris. I'm smokin' hot!"

"MedCov, I'd like to review my policy coverage -- for burns!"

"That last cigarette, was a killer!"

"I don't think Vaping is any safer!"

"Honey, these briefs really are flame retardant!"

"Dear, did you use bleach in my shorts, again?"

“I set the cannon firing land speed record.”

"Tammy, those chili-dogs for lunch -- bad idea!!"

"I know it's last minute, but sign me up for The Ice Water Challenge!"

"Well this day's shot, how's tomorrow look?"

"Hi Mom! Do you know how you said I'd be canonized one day?"

"Hot as in the weather?"

Now I know what it's like to be tarred and feathered.

"Dad, great news! I was fired today!"

"A loaf of bread and a quart of milk, dear. I'll see if the Paramedics mind stopping en route to the hospital."

"Senior Stuntmen Support Group, please."

"Hi Connie! I'd like to cancel tomorrow's appointment for my tanning booth session."

"You're my agent, Harry. What do you suggest for an encore?"

"Yes dear, it is a shame that I was absent
for the Health and Safety Training Course."

"I don't think the duck made it!"

"No, I said, 'HIRE', not 'FIRE'!"

"No, I said 'HIGHER', not 'FIRE'!"

"So do I get the job?"

"I think I've got the hang of it now!"

"Raise the net next time!"

"Stop crying, Florida. They did fire me -- but, from a cannon!"

"I was hired and fired in the same day!"

Stick your job, I`m sick of you firing me.

When my wife sees the state of my clothes, she`ll go ballistic too.

"The Ringmaster chimed,"One for the money, two for the show --
then skipped right over three to get ready!!"

"Some agent you are. You call this a promotion from being the pooper scooper behind the elephants in the circus parade."

I'm sick and tired of you calling the shots - I'm wearing pants next time!

"Now I know why they say, "Ready...Aim...FIRE!"

"Hello, Acme Circus Supplies? I'd like to order a big net...I mean, really big!"

"I feel like I just got shot out of a cannon...wait, I did!"

"The salary is great, but it doesn't cover my dry cleaning bills."

"No, I mean I literally have to give up smoking."

"They're giving me a raise...by 20 degrees."

"No mom, I'm not taking shots with my Cannon Camera."

"Well, Marcia, contrary to how you feel, I've just proven I'm not a dud."

"Well, I've got the "Fly through the air" down. Now I have to work on "With the greatest of ease."

Clean up and do What again?

"Mom, Amazon just hired me as their new Instant Delivery Service."

"Well, yes, it is dangerous, but not any more so than when I used to put my head in the lion's mouth."

"Mildred, you won't be needing to put charcoals on the barbecue grill this afternoon."

Ah, nothing much going on. How are you?

Feelin' hot hot hot!


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