Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 111

Contest No. 111 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 27, 2016.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


"I donated $10,000 to the campaign and I haven't even been offered one ore devours yet."

"You're throwing a wonderful inauguration party, but when are they passing out the 'Make America Great Again' caps?"

I was just asking her about what assets she owns

"I don't ring in the New Year. I fight it tooth and nail."

"I've traded you in for a newer model."

"This is Edith,Sofia,we were in the same class at Washington High"

Madam, you have some nerve asking me to go to bed with you when I'm sitting next to my wife.

"These Charity Balls...I like the Ball part, not the Charity."

"I like my parties like my pizza...plenty of upper crust."

"Who would have thought that Baby New Year would be our new president!"

"For $10,000 a plate I expected the entertainment to be better than Pee Wee Herman and Menudo."

"How about a little less mingling and a lot more pigs-in-a-blanket."

"Mildred, only you could gather so many snobs and highbrows in one ballroom."

"I rather care not for your hoi polloi or hors d'oeuvres."

“All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia”

"Rita, I'd like you to meet my new wife. By the way, how's my million dollars doing?"

"But Harriet, you know being discreet was never one of my virtues."

"Don't get your feathers all ruffled, we're just talking shop."

"I was going to wait till after the ball dropped, but since your here...I want a divorce."

"I think of it as a year end portfolio adjustment."

"It's more of a portfolio adjustment."

1. "You're just missing one thing...PEANUTS!

2. "Out with the old year, in with the new year...If you get my drift.

3. "Why don't you two have a nice chat while I call my divorce lawyer."

4. "You'd be surprised how much you both have in common. You both love me for my money."

5. "It's not my fault...I'm just a chick magnet."

Darling, this young girl reminds me of you forty years ago without the false teeth, hair dye, and weight gain.

"Marsha, this is Washington. We're just lobbying each other."

1."Remember our policy...'Don't Ask, Don't tell."

2. "She's like my private email account...For me to know and you not to not ask.

I call this "The Arrival of the Rival."

"Don't blame me, I didn't make the seating arrangements."

Sorry, you can't sit in the middle. You're too fat.

1. "Well, you told me not to fool around at the office Christmas party, so I came here to fool around."

2. "This isn't as bad as it looks...it's worse!"

3. "Why do you look so surprised...I'm not"

4. "It's just part of my 20 year mid-life crisis."

5. "Pull up a chair and join us...in about an hour."

You'll see how important helmet safety is when I try to stand up.

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