Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 106

Contest No. 106 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, September 13, 2016.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

You all seemed to be inspired by the last drawing of mine from over sixty years ago, so here's another one from the same era. Keep those captions coming!


My wife talked constantly, so I traded her in for the bird.

He was supposed to be a parakeet!

"Polly want your wallet."

He bwaks at strangers!

My brother-in-law gave me the bird!

He hates crackers!

Take off your hat, he thinks it's a saltine!

He's house trained and only molts once a month!

No "KFC" jokes, he has no sense of humor!

He doesn't speak until spoken too!

"I got him in the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room."

"I think I fed her too many crackers."

He is stuffed! One too many insults!

He's not staring, he likes you!

He said, "Shut-up Polly, that dope with the bad hat is on his way over"!

He keeps the elephants and the 600 lb gorilla's in check!

Oh that? He swallowed a clown for lunch!

This is what happens when you marry a cosplayer.

He was for Trump, then Hillary, now he just sits there and says, "kookoo for cocoa puffs"!

He acts like I don't know what he's saying!

He's amazing, yesterday he told me he was going out for a few drinks!

For laughs sometimes I let him answer telemarketing calls!

When my wife is out, this parrot insults me. I keep thinking the parrot is my wife.

It's weird, it's like he can read my mind!

It's so annoying I have to speak a different language in front of him!

The only time he's quiet is Thanksgiving Day!

I do not know how he got so big, I hardly feed him

Polly wanted a lot of crackers.

"He's got a big mouth."

"He repeats everything you say. Problem is, the whole neighborhood hears it."

"Polly wants a cracker...and everything else in the refrigerator."

"My wife told me my three year old son is crazy about Big Bird, so..."

"He's a great pet until he wants to sit on your shoulder."

"He looked smaller in the pet shop."

"Say anything, but hold onto your hat before he repeats it."

"That's the eighth cat I lost this month."

"What does an 800-lb parrot say? Whatever he wants to say."

Easter should be interesting!

He's not a parrot, he's a mocking bird!

"Watch what you say. He has a big mouth."

"He's like a computer: Garbage in, garbage out."

"It takes the whole New York Sunday Times to cover the bottom of his cage.

The website said very rare.

He does over 200 impressions, including Bernie Sanders. Wanna hear?

I do not know what to do with him. All he does is eat and

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