Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 96

Contest No. 96 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, February 9, 2016.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


"Cancel all my meetings...forever!"

"He says he's here to audit my taxes, and then he's got some other certain thing to do."

"Call security!"

"Make that two ham and rye...to go."

"I think this 'Casual Friday' thing has gone far enough."

"I wish he was only at the door. He's already at the desk."

"But our appointment was for tonight in Samarra."

I have 3,432 things left on my to-do list. May I have a little more time?

Hmmmm . . Is that with a capital "D" or small "D"?

"How about never, does never work for you?"

"Sharon, could you call in the attorneys for a few questions? Thanks."

"Sharon, tell HR the VP of Marketing position has been filled."

Yes, now that I think about it . . . I DO believe he voted for Donald Trump .

"Miss Higgins, come to the front desk immediately. Someone here is very anxious to meet you.

" Miss Bender,we Do need the lawn mowed...don't we?"

Miss Perkins,are you sure this is the only mobile Barber available.

"I've got the elevator repairman here. He says the elevator will only be running down for awhile."

"Helen, I thought I told you to cancel my appointment to meet my make."

"The dead stops here."

"I'm meeting with the CEO of Marlboro right now."

"He says he's not a lawyer but a lot of them are his neighbors."

Alice, Tell John he can have my job.I'm going somewhere else..

I have directed your request for employment to the Farm Bureau Association!

I know, I know! Just let me check this last voicemail.

Do you Skype, Max?

Get me our best arbiter, Joan.

Well I'll be damned.

It says here, "subject to change."

Martha, why'd you let him in?! Martha?...Martha?

"Helen, I thought I told you to cancel my appointment to meet my maker."

"Cancel all my appointments. I'll be stepping out...the window."

"My partner sent you, didn't he?"

"You have a great resume but we're not dying right now."

"How many extra years can a key to the executive bathroom buy me.?"

"I'm not going anywhere until I speak to your boss."

"Tell my secretary to make an appointment with me in, oh say, 30 years."

"I'm not going anywhere with you unless you book me first class.

"I thought you said he was deaf."

"Look, your a great efficiency expert, but can't we just fire unnecessary staff."

"I don't care what he says. I'm taking my money with me."

"You're lucky. We have an opening for a ghost writer.

"Rose, I'll be leaving a little early today."

You're gonna have to wait. I'm getting my taxes done at 3.

Me.Smith..Redirect this fellow to anywhere but here.

"The BUCKet list stops here."

"Brenda, will you please validate parking for my guest's pale horse?"

Doctor Schmutz, the medicine you gave me doesn't work.

I'm fired.

That tray of cookies, how soon can you get it in here?

Miss Moneypenny, please send the following memo to my boss: you're a moron and your wife is fat.

Mom . . . send the pastor to my office immediately
and ask him to bring my records with him.

I have a fellow in my office that needs to be directed
to the television commercial studio.

You're my worst secretary. I asked you to get me a box of Betty Crocker Devil Cake Mix, not the DEVIL!!!

" Miss Higgins, prepare the employees to leave early today."

" Miss Newberry, can you please cancel my Doctors appointment please."

Barbara, please take this idiot out. He thinks it's Halloween.

Joe, take this guy to our other office where we are having a klu Klux Klan meeting.

To all my employees: " I wasn't such a terrible boss, WAS I ?"

The new H.R. guy is here, call a staff meeting for 10 O'Clock!

I like this guys "downsizing" ideas, send in the staff!

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