Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 94

Contest No. 94 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, December 29, 2015.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


"First we couldn't remember if we ever got married, and now we don't recall if we got divorced or not."

"Our records are in the Cloud? Don't they get water logged?"

You're celebrating your 25th anniversary and you thought it was time to get a license?

Our house burned down last night. Can we move in with you?

"Can we make it fun like a gay wedding?"

"Can I pay my property tax in Syrian Pounds?

We spent $75,000 to send you to college to become a Doctor and all you want to be is a Clerk?

"I should have known when you quit college to become a soda jerk that you would end up like this"

"Check your records again. Please, just maybe you're not our son!"

"Check his birth certificate again. I'm praying Trump is not an American citizen."

"My wife says I need a license to speak."

Just because we're brother and sister you're refusing to give us a marriage license?

We lost our house during the recent hurricane, and wish to know if it was found.

We belong to The Sacrifice Religion. Would it be a problem if we burn people we don't like in our back yard?

I would like to be the Town Clerk. What can I do to have you fired?

Our home just burned to the ground an hour ago. Please take us off the list of families that owe home taxes.

Is it normal for staff to have their names hanging from the ceiling.

We just bought a lion. Are we permitted to walk him around town if he's on a dog leash?

Our 14 year old son just ran away. Is it ok if we don't tell the police?

"In my home town we also had a town clerk, but we called him the village idiot."

"I'd like to get a fishing license and a divorce, but not necessarily in that order."

"I'd like a death certificate for my wife. Just post date it for tomorrow."

"Give me a permit for anything... because my wife won't permit me to do anything!"

We want to report a neighbor has a Hillary For President sign facing our house, and it bothers us since we are for Trump.

This is my new girl friend. Is it ok for the two of us and my wife to live in our house?

We're thinking of burning our house down. If the police find out would we be in trouble?

I would like to buy a fishing license. I want to catch a few of our goldfish in our fishbowl.

I'd like to speak with a computer.

"Let me have a martini, shaken, not stirred, and a license to kill."

"We would like to trade for those new gay marriages as ours has not been that happy actually."

Do I need planning permission to have a Toupee fitted.

I was a Boy Scout. Can I get a discount on our taxes?

"Would you kindly give us two applications, one for a marriage license and one for a divorce. We will use them when needed.

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