Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 79

Contest No. 79 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, February 10, 2015.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


"Between Mitt and the second-and-goal call, I wouldn't go in there."

"Go right on in. You caught Mr. Stein in a good mood today."

"He was left off the G8 invitation again."

"I wouldn't go in there, he's replaying the State of the Union."

Sorry Chris, his team lost the Super Bowl

That means enter if you dare

You really want to ask for a raise, NOW!

Someone took his XBox

So, who's happy?

That IS his smile face

"Sir,..Crandell from tec-services is here with the Beats pairing code for your Fiio X-5."

He just finished reading your resume.

His wife isn't leaving after all.

His son and family are moving back home.

Sir,..the sensitivity trainer is here regarding your indiscretion in the Super Bowl suite."

NOt a good time, he just spoke to Sarah Palin.

"Can you come back in fifteen?, I accidentally scheduled you during his daily identity crisis."

His tax return was just rejected

"Sir,..your social media tutor is here."

"Sir,...Bentley from medical is here for your Measles booster."

"Sir,....H R is here with a list of what's off limits in Havana."

"Sir, Eli's intern is here, no more captions from Critelli until contest #80."

Mr. Goldfinger told me to tell you he's not there.

"He's having difficulty transitioning from Steno-pad to Notebook."

I have no idea who that is sitting at your desk!!!

Epstein, meet Frankenstein.

Sorry, he doesn't see a salesman who doesn't wear a suit.

He's not paying you because you sold him a door that doesn't close.

"The Board is evaluating whether he is still relevant."

"Let's give him just a moment, he's unfriending someone."

"Sir,...your next lowered expectation is here."

I understand that you haven't seen your dad in 19 years, but he's too busy to see you today.

1. Actually, his bite is bigger than his bark."

2. "Would you like to leave the name of your next of kin before entering?"

3. "He always gets this way when someone orders a tuna on pumpernickel but forgets the pickle."

"Well, I am not sure: our quarterly results came in below estimates, but more likely it's Friday traffic to the Hamptons.

I wouldn't go in unless that piece of paper in your hand contains good news.

It's snowing inside his office again.

He ordered the striped rug, not the polka dot one.

"He's a bit distraught,...first Rather, now Williams."

He told me you would be here to arrrest him, but he said he didn't want to see you.

You say you're here to offer my boss $400,000 for those 3 paintings in his office showing squares in black and white?

1. "The last time he gave a raise was 23 years ago...and that was to himself."

2. "If that's a chart of our plummeting sales, I suggest you turn it upside down before handing it to him."

3. "If he goes for his letter opener...duck!"

Yes,...this is the office of happytherapy.com!!
Please go in.

Go Figaro! He can't focus on the football pool right now - he's still too upset that his opera got cancelled.

"Sir,....Murphy's here with your vote of confidence results."

He didn`t see the Wet Paint sign on his door handle.

"He's upset the groundhog saw its shadow."

"Sir,..I know you pretended not to hear
But the Board made it perfectly clear,
Even though we make diesels
We still can get measles,
So the nurse with your booster is here."

You haven't been "Salesman of the Year" since 1994. Why should he want to see you?

He blew his top at this months sales figures and his toupee flew out the window.

1. "Oh, that's nothing. He always looks like that when he accidentally glances at the picture on his desk of his wife."

2. "He'll be right with you. He's busy firing the whole staff."


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