Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 33

After a long delay, during which this website was being rebuilt, I'm ready to resume Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest.

Contest No. 33 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security code that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click "Save". There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, March 20, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

And here's the drawing that needs your funny captions:


"I guess you didn't get the memo about casual Friday".

" just FYI, tips equal razors "

I could look more presentable if I got better tips.

My doctor said I am NOT contagious ...

"Turns out I am allergic to work"

Excuse me, but I think I may have measles. If you are worried I can get you a different waiter.

1. "Would you like your wine with glasses or just straight from the bottle?"

2. "If you have anything left over, can I have your dogie bags?...I'm really a starving actor!"

3. "Dude, didn't anyone tell you the jacket and tie requirement went out in the 60s."

4. "I would suggest the soup of the day...with a side order of flies."

5. "By the look of your wife's necklace, I'm expecting a 25% tip."

6. "May I congratulate you on your fine choice of wine. I just...hiccup...drank the bottle."

1. "Personally, I think the sign in the bathroom, 'All Employees Must Wash Their Hands,' is an infringement on my civil liberties."

2. "Dad!..what are you doing here? Well, now you know I didn't become a doctor after college."

3. "Where's your hot 'daughter' you always come in with?"

4. "How would I know what the specials are?..I'm just the dish washer subbing for the waiter today."

5. "I only work here to pay my way through auto mechanic school."

" This is the manager's idea....the special tonight is the "Sloppy Joe" sandwich with a free glass of wine!"

"We're out of napkins but you can use my shirt."

"I'm the owner's car mechanic and he needed a waiter in a hurry."

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