Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 18

Cartoon Caption Contest No. 18 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on 'COMMENTS' underneath the current drawing. Then (2) scroll down past all the other comments and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security word that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click 'Submit'. There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight, Tuesday February 15, 2011.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Here's the drawing for this contest -- can't wait to see your captions!captioncontest18.jpg


THIS is how your wife explains the credit card bill?

"and so the square root of the probability of her saying yes divided by her age to the power of her bra size multiplied by the number of guys she's dated in the last 6 years equals her rejection rate over the chance you will have of ever meeting a girl like her again" "but you forgot to factor out the chances of her saying yes but then dumping you after the first date, and also if she's been divorced before this then we need to start this whole thing ov..." "dude, just ask her out."

I told you when you started teaching this course for Seniors that talking about sex was out of line.

"I still don't understand women."
"Yes, Smithers, you have conclusively proven that God is a woman. But what about the formula for probiotic corn flakes?"
"By gum, you're right -- it is my anniversary!"
"My life has been wasted."
"Smithers, I dare say you have just earned yourself the Nobel Prize."

Godrey my man, I must say the figures are astounding.

1. "It still doesn't solve the paradox that man can't live with them or without them."
2. "Makes no sense, whatsoever,...but you have found a way to make algebra fun."
3." By Jove, I do believe you have invented the perfect blow-up doll!"
4. "My Lord, Henderson's wife was the Missing Link all along!"
5." It still doesn't explain why they need fifty pair of shoes."

1. "Your theory doesn't add up. Have you tried making her a red-head?"
2. "All you've managed to do is take the fun out of sex education."
3."Bingsley, don't analyze it so much... just do it!"
4. Yes, but will blonds understand this?"
5. "Amazing, when you add her to the equation...1 + 1 doesn't equal 2!"

"And they said we would never understand women."

1. "You have an interesting way of writing 36-24-36."
2. Let's keep this discovery to ourselves -- Man actually came from the woman's rib!"
3. "Excluding all the numbers...it's genius."
4. "There must be an easier way to show how to blow up the doll."
5." You say you developed this brilliant theory while having an affair with my wife?"

"So, according to your calculations, Snooki is really a 6'9'' bodybuilder named Hans?"

I think you better start minding your P's and Q's.

"You can justify it all you want Smithers, but your wife is still going to be mad at you for forgetting her birthday."

"Did you mean to include an irrational figure in your equation?"

"That's a one in a million figure."

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