Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 7

Cartoon Caption Contest No. 7 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details:

I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on 'Comments' underneath the current drawing. Then (2) scroll down past all the other comments and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security word that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click 'Submit'. There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week for each contest, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions is midnight, Tuesday June 1st. I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here. New contests will appear at very irregular intervals in the future.

Here's the new drawing. You all seemed to have so much fun with Psychiatry in Contest No. 6, that I thought I'd stay with that subject. By the way, I consider my original caption for this particular unpublished cartoon to be pretty lame, so I'm sure most of you can top it. There's your challenge -- have a blast!



I need your help, Doc. I'm hooked on pills, booze, sex and phonics.

"So, am I kwazy?"

I am wondering, should I be here with someone whose credentials were issued by somebody who can't spell Psychiatrist?

"No wunda I've bin in trubble all theez yeahs."

So I see you shop at IKEA ...

"Wow that's so strange, my boss has the same name!

Give me a break, Doc. I'm trying to get a little shut eye.

So, doc, you don't think dyslexia is a disability?

" I just got a puppy and named it Sykiatrist after our last session."

Doc, the guy that printed your diploma needs a little help.

Doc, I really appreciate you listening to what I have to say... It's just that you know I can see you playing Gameboy behind your notepad right?

"... and then she says she thinks I'm a poor judge of character."

"You have no idea how hard it was to find a doctor who could treat my irrational fear of the letter 'P'".

"Is that from Playskool?"

I can't believe that while I am jotting my thoughts down my psychiatrist just fell asleep.

I just can't win, doc. The last guy I went to spelled psychiatrist right but left the room, claiming to be using the "empty chair technique." At least you're sitting here with me - but are you trying the"empty spelling technique?" I guess that's HMO's for you.

My good friend of 60+ years, Ed Smith, reported that he was getting error messages with my "Comments" procedure, so he emailed me his seven (!) captions. Rather than have him start all over again, I am going to post his captions for him (please note that this is a service I will perform only for people I know for over 60 years -- if you're not in that category, kindly don't email me your captions).
Ed Smith's captions:
1. "Please tell me again -- what institution awarded you your degree?"
2. I knew that there was something about you that inspired me with konfidenz."
3. "Doctor, I'm always afraid that people are trying to deceive me."
4. "I had a dream that I used spell check and it completely let me down."
5. "I keep worrying about our educational system and its emphasis on the basics of English."
6. "I'm sorry, doctor -- I'm afraid our time is up."
7. "Doc, I, too, am a fan of phonetic spelling."

"I thought you were a sykologist."

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