Insurance Sales, 1982

Suffolk Lawyer, 1998

Dartnell, 1998

Nutrition Health Review, 1982

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 131

                             "Don't you have any smaller toothpicks?"

                                             (by ken wilkinson)


My original caption: "Okay, Walter, I get the message. I'll start working on our global warming initiative right away."


And it's a third big victory for ken wilkinson! Congratulations, ken -- once again you can bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.

Okay, okay, I know I went for the zany caption this time around -- "smaller toothpicks" indeed! But ken's caption got a big smile from me and I deemed it worthy of top honors. I had a difficult time deciding, though, because there were so many other excellent submissions. Here are the other ones that almost made it:

"I'm not ready . . . try next desk." (by Harvey Appelbaum)

"Well I'm not ready yet, and you're Smith from Accounting." (by Rich Wolf)

"OK fine, I see your point." (by Matt Groth)

"You have the wrong office, the costume party is next door." (by Diane)

"Can we take a selfie?" (by Marc Eliot Stein)

"Take my wife, please." (by Vinny)

"Sorry I don't care who you are or who it is you work for, nobody sees Mr. Ross without an appointment." (by bug eye bob)

"Can I write one last email?" (by Sharon)

"This is workplace harassment." (also by Sharon)

"Is white the new black?" (by Eric Bjorklund)

"Sorry, this is a weapons-free facility." (by Ant Lapat)

"No, you can't wear that when you fire an employee." (by Max West)

The next contest probably won't start until March 27th (rather than March 20th), because I'll be away from my computer for a short time. Please look for it then, and thanks for participating.


Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 131

Contest No. 131 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, March 6, 2018.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

Rough Notes, 1990

The National Law Journal, February 3, 1992

Parts Pups, 1991

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 130

              "Prince Michael, I always wanted something better for you."

                                          (by Brendan Gannon)


My original caption: "I've had it with juggling and pratfalls. Don't you know any ethnic jokes?"


Nice going, Brendan Gannon -- this is your first victory, so you get a huge congratulations! You are now officially one of the funniest people around.

There weren't too many captions submitted for this contest, so I guess this drawing ranks up there as a "difficult" one. Yes, it's not easy for me to figure out which of my old drawings will attract a lot of captions, and which will flop.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering:

"It's come to my attention that you have been juggling your time between me and that Santa guy." (by Ronn Roxx)

"Your motivation is I'm your father and I told you to." (by Rich Wolf)

"I said I wanted chainsaws." (by Jason Tolbert)

"Let's see what you've got, the balls are in your court." (by Joshua Cadwallader)

And my appreciation goes out to Max West, for his caption "Remember -- the pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true." It got a big laugh from me, because I had never connected Danny Kaye and his film "The Court Jester" with this cartoon, and the quote was so appropriate. Funny as it was to me, I didn't feel that the caption made for a commercially-acceptable cartoon, so it just gets this special "honorable mention". Maybe if you had included the additional routine about "the chalice from the palace", Max . . . (just kidding, it still wouldn't have won, but it probably would have gotten an even bigger laugh from me).

Thanks for the submissions, captioneers. A new contest will start a couple of weeks from now -- and I'll try to make it easier.



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